I was wrong in the first place. When I left I told him that he is the darkness and he stole my light. He didn't have any affairs. So many great points here! He got a text from someone and my eye just caught it. .
When we give someone else the power to validate our worthiness, we also give them the power to invalidate us. Cut off phone or face to face contact. Smear campaigns are common to keep victims silent. How do you get over this? It is not a relationship when one person exists solely to cater to the other person with no needs, wants or expectations of their own. He would now spend all hours at neighbors apt….
I understand why he acted like he did all these years. I said the same thing to my narc — you are a black soul, black heart. This monster he created to protect himself took away his identity. He was mean and the things he said to me were horrible. It was clear in no time.
There is no future for us or anyone else with these Ns and we have to learn to love ourselves and protect our souls from them. And in my life it has happened 3 times. ~ T I like this question because it signifies a Narcissistic control tactic that overpowered me. But I guarantee it will never happen again. I have been the one at her beck and call for years as she knows I am soft.
Regardless, take care of yourself my friend. But baby step by baby step, I took down the lies I was telling myself and the hurtful hopes I was bashing myself with, and replaced these with simple things. You already have a pair of bat-girl glasses! When i start to feel like I want a man I think…. So therefor there is a pattern, but not one I have found as of yet. This is because those damaged children still have empathy for others. Officer and I actually went to jail.
Also about women he was telling me that he got bored in some weeks or some months becouse they could not stimulate him for longer. Also a history of selling drugs and prescription drugs. These are pervasive behaviors and only worsen over time. She lives two miles away and I never see her. His ex before me got beaten by him.
He is lost in his own grandiosity. Or he experiences a negative ego ideal, where his omnipotence is threatened; throwing his sense of perfection and uniqueness into question. Jeri May 10, 2015 I feel your pain. Annie July 12, 2012 I Loved it…. In his mind you deserve to be punished for your gullibility and he feels superior to have that kind of control over you. The panic, the anxiety and the acceptance this has happened to me is overwhelming at times.
Any advice would be great! You need to start finding out who you are to-day, and work at building back your identity…… afterall there was something strong about you that your husband was attracted to in the first place. This again, was exactly what I needed to read!! I was shocked and realized I was with a Nars for so many years. Should You Learn Everything There is to Know About Narcissists? Lots of reasons like all of us on here. We are to love and protect our children. My counselor said it best when he noted that certain experiences can shape you and my time with this man certainly did. Some of them have recognized their rescuers even after long time of being separated and would jump into their arms and smootch.
It did not speak tto my worth as a person, rather, to his own deep seeded issues. And this was after I had left him with a profitable viable company! Today feels like it will be a good day. I hope this makes a difference for even one young lady and her children. Each time he sucked me back in and spit me out again, I came out feeling worse about myself, and more pathetic than ever. They bought a house together for financial convenience. It is not true of course. He didn't seem fully conscious of it, but then he'd joke about his behavior like he was proud of it.
He humiliated me over the phone like always and then told me that he didnt want to see me fall so if i need a ride to go to a motel that he would help me with a ride. I'd take him back in a heartbeat if he'd love me again, even with all the bad stuff included. I realize your post was last year, although you never know, you may read this. Only since my daughter started having mental difficulties did everything else spiral out of control. As you think about the events and experiences of the relationship, ask yourself why you felt the way you did, not what you were feeling.